A World Full Of Mean Kittens

(NOTE: Based on time elapsed since the posting of this entry, the BS-o-meter calculates this is 9.648% likely to be something that Ferrett now regrets.)

Ever see a two-year-old pet a kitty? It is not a pleasant experience for the kitty. The kid staggers over, beaming; the kitty, if it has any experience with small children, generally attempts to flee.

And the kid, full of friendship and good will, whacks the cat on the head repeatedly in their clumsy version of “petting.” Depending on the cat’s temperament, the cat will either scratch or flee. In either case, the kid is often heartbroken.

At which point the child is presented with an optional lesson to be learned: They can understand that their version of “petting” is not actually what the kitty wants…

Or they can decide the kitty is MEAN to them because they petted, and yet the kitty rejected their friendship!

Wise parents will help shape this lesson for their children, of course. But if the kid doesn’t figure it out eventually, the world is gonna be full of very mean kittens.

And I see that behavior a lot in life, particularly among men seeking the company of women. Like the two-year-old, they’ve watched what other men do and have picked up on some elements of how social interactions work, but not the critical subtleties that would convey kindness.

Then they go out and act like what they think is a “nice” guy, except they’re actually whackin’ kittens in the face.

And when the women inevitably reject their “kind” advances, they don’t stop to think, “Wait, maybe what I’m doing isn’t what the people I’m trying to date actually want.” They generally double down, bitching that they did everything they were supposed to, and these dumb bitches don’t know when a guy is doing good things for them, and it never really occurs to them that when they’re secretly thinking of women as dumb bitches that maaaaaybe that’s a sign that women shouldn’t actually date them, but by then it’s too late.

They live in a world full of mean kittens.

Which isn’t to say that some cats don’t scratch, of course. There are some genuinely hissy felines out there. But in that case, the lesson to be learned is generally “Cats don’t exist to be petted for your convenience,” and wise people realize that “getting to pet every cat you liked” is not something you were ever guaranteed in life.

The rest of them throw tantrums. Kind of like a two-year-old.

1 Comment

  1. Conuly
    Jan 2, 2017

    wise people realize that “getting to pet every cat you liked” is not something you were ever guaranteed in life.

    Excuse me, I was guaranteed this. At birth.

    Still working on getting the porch cat to let me pet her. She’s very friendly for a feral cat, but she’s still, you know… feral. Her flight distance has shrunk considerably, but we aren’t in the petzone yet.

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