The Irony Is….

(NOTE: Based on time elapsed since the posting of this entry, the BS-o-meter calculates this is 6.03% likely to be something that Ferrett now regrets.)

….I wrote an essay that, if I were to summarize it, went something like:
I thought this girl cut me off without any explanation.  But when I really analyzed what happened, it turned out she’d been trying to tell me that I was doing things that hurt her, and I dismissed her concerns because I was incapable of comprehending what she told me.”
However, when someone else summarized it, their interpretation was:

He was in a relationship, or so he thought, and then rationalized it as he is wrong for feeling attached.
Male emotion doesn’t matter.
Show me where I’m wrong in that conclusion.

The irony is that this guy did a shitty job of reading the text, basically stripping out a lot of context and meaning to arrive at the conclusion that “male emotion doesn’t matter,” and…. he has exes in his past who’ve clearly, based on his outrage, cut him off without explaining to him what he did.
Dude.  They explained it to you in the way I explained it you.  And you misinterpreted it in the same crappy way you’re doing now.
I feel safe in saying the problem isn’t that she didn’t tell you, the problem is that you can’t fucking interpret words correctly.
(….But for the record, “male emotion” does matter, as much as any emotion matters.  I’m not down on masculinity, I’m down on emotion.
(I’m of the fairly firm opinion that you reach wisdom once you start recognizing that “I feel this strongly” does not necessarily mean that this is true, and much of maturity comes from being able to truly feel the roiling stew of emotions that are telling you to do all sorts of damn-fool things, and instead choosing to do the right thing.  Whether that’s putting aside your anger to be a reasonable person to someone who deserves the benefit of the doubt, or suppressing your insecurity to handle someone else’s hurt, or tucking aside fear to go do the things that will actually make your life better, or suppressing revulsion at your own wrongness to actually acknowledge that this factual argument is correct, I think “emotions” are overrated.
(We all feel emotions.  They’re useful.  I’m no Vulcan.  But though I felt justified emotionally in what I did to Allie at the time, that does not make my actions actually justifiable.  And that distinction is a critical life lesson for people to learn.)
(And no, I’m not linking to the comment; it’s in one of the cross-postings somewhere, and I don’t particularly feel like sending the flying monkeys at this dude, who has enough problems of his own to deal with.)
 

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