Awkward Conversations With George Zimmerman

(NOTE: Based on time elapsed since the posting of this entry, the BS-o-meter calculates this is 13.266% likely to be something that Ferrett now regrets.)

Okay, so George Zimmerman is now being asked for grip-n-grins, where well-wishers at a gun show line up for his autograph.
Thing is, I get tongue-tied talking to celebrities in general.  I have a fundamental dislike of saying something cliched, and usually all I have to say to a musician or a writer or a comedian is “Hi, I’m a fan of yours, just like the other seventy people behind me.”  I may venture, “I really love this song of yours,” but usually, I just clam up and tell them my name if they ask.
Then I wish I had something really interesting to tell them.  Like the Farscape convention.  That time, I got to say “My wife and I came to see you guys for our honeymoon!” to the entire cast of Farscape, and oh, how the laughs did flow.  Virginia Hey recognized us two years later, waving to us from a staircase, going, “It’s the newlyweds!”  And I felt all beamy because hey, that was something new.
But most of the time, I schlump along.
…what the fuck would I say to George Zimmerman?
What kind of fandom does George Zimmerman have?
I suppose “I loved the way you shot that kid” might be a common sentiment, but that sounds so harsh when you say it out loud.  “You looked so debonaire on the stand” might be a valid approach.  Perhaps an enthusiastic “You got away with it!”
I mean, seriously, even assuming you wanted an autograph of Zimmerman (and, bizarrely enough, his dog), I’m finding it hard-pressed to know what to say as you get to the head of the line.  “You shot a kid who probably would have turned out to be a criminal, and I’m a big fan of proactive murder” seems the best bet.  Or maybe “It was him or you, except he didn’t have a gun and you did, and even then he was pounding the crap out of you, so hooray for demonstrating how a gun provides a dangerous sense of invulnerability!”
Yet even if you believe it was in legitimate self-defense, rejoicing in the death of another human being by wanting proof you met the man seems bizarre.  Then again, maybe not.  I know a lot of people who’d want an autograph from the man who shot Bin Laden, and they’d stand in a much longer line.  And the conversations in that line would be just as crazy.

1 Comment

  1. Grail76
    Mar 10, 2014

    And there’s the thing. If Zimmerman is the innocent, wrong man in the wrong place and did shoot the kid in self defense, it makes no sense.
    If, on the other hand, he’s a racist murder who managed to kill a black kid and get away with it, then he’s a hero to other racists with a contingent of people who just like to, well, shoot other people.

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