JESUS CHRIST WE DO NOT NEED MEGGINGS

(NOTE: Based on time elapsed since the posting of this entry, the BS-o-meter calculates this is 6.03% likely to be something that Ferrett now regrets.)

I AM SO ENRAGED I AM GOING TO TRY NOT TO TYPE IN ALL CAPS okay wait I’m gearing down wait I’ll talk normal now.
Let’s talk about “Meggings.”  These are leggings for men.  Yes, men, if you want to wear colorful skin-tight pantyhose-style things on your legs, you now can!
Except you totally could have before.  Like, you know, men have worn leggings for years – in military outfits, in ballet outfits, in all sorts of Renaissance wear.
You know what none of those guys had to do before?
Assign their clothing a different name to protect their precious fucking masculinity.
Look, I’m well on record for wearing nail polish – I like nail polish.  It makes my nails look pretty.  I like pretty.  And I’m comfortable enough in my guyhood that I don’t feel that I’m somehow sliding into Icky Girl Territory if I want to have something pretty on me.
And I especially don’t have to try to assign some existing product a whole new fucking name – like NAIL ARMOR – to ensure that nobody knows I’m doing something girly.  It’s not a “murse,” it’s a fucking purse, and yes maybe girls have purses but I don’t have to mutilate the language just to ensure that I’m not carrying icky icky girl stuff on my body.
When a girl wears jeans, she doesn’t have to call them “vajayjeans” so no one will accidentally mistake her for a guy.  (They have “girl jeans” because girls are usually different shapes than guys, but that’s just so we know where to shop.)  That’s because guy stuff is generally not considered so toxic that having it on your body sucks the hormones out of you.  I mean, sure, maybe if you start wearing a mustache it’ll be a girlstache, but simple items of clothing and decoration?  Fuck that noise.
Girls have leggings, and so do guys.  Girls wear purses, and so do guys.  Girls wear nail polish, and so do guys.  And maybe some jackholes will think you girly if you have these accoutrement on your person – but honestly?  Clutching your pretty pretty princess nails to your chest and shrieking, “This is NAIL ARMOR!  In MILITARY GREEN!” will not make these people think better of you.
It’s okay, dudes.  Wear your leggings proud.  Or not, because, well, they’re leggings, but you don’t have to make everything SUPER-MANLY to justify it on your person.
 

3 Comments

  1. Yet Another Laura H.
    Feb 6, 2014

    THANK YOU.

  2. Megan
    Feb 6, 2014

    Honestly? “Nail Armour” would be a great name for a nail polish product. For either gender, it just sounds great. 🙂

  3. Sean Kelly
    Feb 7, 2014

    You have my sincerest gratitude.

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