Today's Rant, In E Minor

(NOTE: Based on time elapsed since the posting of this entry, the BS-o-meter calculates this is 13.266% likely to be something that Ferrett now regrets.)

Someone asked: “But isn’t polyamory breaking you up from having a true and meaningful relationship?”
Yes! Yes it is. Which is why I’m currently breaking off all other relationships I have, including my mother, my good friends, my colleagues, and of course anyone I’ve ever met online. Thank you for showing me that “meaningful” relationships are exclusive, and if you are friends with someone then becoming friends with someone else would only cheapen that bond.
Thus, the only logical conclusion you can reach given that premise is that having more than one relationship with anyone is making the others less “true.” Your affection is a finite thing, and giving your time and caring (and potentially bodily fluids) to someone else makes all the other relationships you have a fake and tawdry thing – not really relationships, but something less.
If you come from a family, I wish you the best of luck in determining who your mother and father loved the best, whether it was you, them, or your siblings, because loving more than one person is obviously crazy.
I hope it’s you they liked! I really do. But if it turns out it’s not you, it’s not your fault; after all, they had to choose someone. Nobody could have deep and true feelings for a person, and then paradoxically turn around and have meaningful feelings for someone else.
If you’ll excuse me, I’m now going to have to stop talking to you, because my wife needs me. Me, and no other. Ever.

1 Comment

  1. Mishell Baker
    Jan 30, 2014

    I have infinite love, but as far as time and energy to actually maintain a relationship (or even a friendship) I do tend to have very little. Which is why I basically have only one lover and only one or two real friends at a time, and why my mother dies from shock when I call. Some people might be good at juggling a lot of relationships and making everyone feel valued; I have very few relationships of any depth and they all somehow still end up feeling neglected most of the time. The flip side though is that I’m extremely low-maintenance, and I don’t mind being treated the way I treat others (i.e. hearing from them once a year).

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