Dumbness On A Saturday: The Answer

(NOTE: Based on time elapsed since the posting of this entry, the BS-o-meter calculates this is 14.472% likely to be something that Ferrett now regrets.)

So yesterday, I told you three truths and a lie, and asked you which was the lie.  I thought my fib was obvious… but from the comments, it’s clear it wasn’t that obvious.  (Gini got it, though.)  So which were the truths?
1)  I once had sex for eight hours straight.  It was not pleasant.
Status: True.  In fact, it’s one of my more infamous entries.  Looking at it almost a decade later, I’m even less proud of this tale, but… there it is.
2)  I saw Star Wars fifty-seven-and-a-half times in the theater when I was a child.
Status: True.  There were a few comments along the lines of, “No child could see a movie in the theaters fifty-seven times!  Especially in the 1970s!  What parent would take him?”
Ah, but the same stubbornness that has gotten me where I am with my writing career was present in Tiny Ferrett as well.  I bugged my parents every time Star Wars was playing.  I bugged my Uncle.  I bugged my friends to go, so they’d take me with them.  I was obsessed with Star Wars, and by God every time it was playing, I saw it at least once a weekend, and sometimes more.
The half?  Here’s how bad I was: my grandparents agreed to take me to see it one more time, even though they could have cared less.  We misread the movie time and arrived an hour early.  I talked them into going into the theater to watch the last hour of Star Wars, sit through the credits, and then watch the next showing.
That reminds me: I need to call my Grammy.
3)  I have never seen a movie in the theater more than fifty-eight times.
Status: False.  This one was a gimme to me for two reasons:
a)  Given that one of my more infamous talents is that I led a Rocky Horror cast and dressed as Frank N. Furter, I think it’s reasonably obvious to anyone with knowledge of that fact that just over a year’s worth of showings would push me over the top.  I helmed for two years, and was a sporadic attendee for years afterwards.  I know I broke a hundred RHPS attendances before I lost track.
b)  If the other items are all true, given that I met my wife in a Star Wars chat room and have not been unenthusiastic about my Star Wars love in the past, what are the odds that I would have seen Star Wars fifty-seven-and-a-half times in the theater as a child… and then not seen it once on any of the subsequent rereleases?   Logically, if #2 is true, #3 has to be false.
But alas, it was obvious to me and a handful of ahead-of-the-curve people.  The rest of you debated
4)  I have seen a ghost, precisely once, when I was a child.
Status: True.  We did not have any furniture when we moved into my childhood home on Clinton Avenue.  So my first night was spent curled up around my mother, on a sleeping bag, in a strange new place, in the living room.  I remember being unable to sleep, wriggling a lot.
Just as I was drifting off, the bathroom door just off of the kitchen slammed once, twice.  I remember the door shutting, because I needed to have the light on.
My mother did not wake up.
I did not technically see the ghost, but seeing what it did counts for me.  Was I dreaming?  I don’t think so.  I have very non-visual dreams, and I can’t recall another instance in which I confused reality with a dream.  But I was a young child.  Nothing like it has ever happened again.
Now, those of you who’ve followed my bios have seen a reference to “the friendly ghost” I live with, and thus concluded this was the lie, since I’ve lived here as a grownup.  I will never blog about the friendly ghost.  If you want to know, ask me in person.  But I have never seen the ghost in our house, nor do I think I ever will.

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