Help Name My Face-Flayer!

(NOTE: Based on time elapsed since the posting of this entry, the BS-o-meter calculates this is 14.472% likely to be something that Ferrett now regrets.)

For the last two weeks, I have been pressing a cold blade to my face and having it shear off my epidermis.  This straight razor has removed hairs, supped on my blood, tasted my fear as I have learned to come to an uncomfortable balance with it.
Yet we have never been properly introduced.
As the lovely Sheryl points out, if I am going to have a blade, it should damn well have a name.  I don’t really want to name it as a weapon, as if it’s drawing blood, it’s my own fault.  Still, the blade is unforgiving, and I feel that perhaps granting it a semblance of the life it is so cheerfully nicking from my face might help me to keep things together.
So.  What is my razor’s name?  I’ll announce a winner sometime next week.


  1. Katherine Marie
    Jan 10, 2013

    I vote Todd!

  2. Sean Craven
    Jan 10, 2013

    Saucy Jack.

  3. Penn
    Jan 10, 2013

    Bobby Flay.
    The Vorpal Blade.

  4. Lyn Belzer-Tonnessen
    Jan 10, 2013


  5. Alicia
    Jan 10, 2013


  6. Friday
    Jan 11, 2013

    Its name is Gleam.

  7. Yvil
    Jan 11, 2013

    (or Nic if you prefer a more Euro or female version)
    For a less flayer-evoking name, go simply with Shiny.

  8. Craig
    Jan 11, 2013

    Mack .. the knife
    Rakish .. blade

  9. Yet Another Laura H.
    Jan 13, 2013

    Captain Awkward, after the beautifully incisive Internet advice columnist.

  10. Collarsmith
    Jan 14, 2013


  11. WA_side
    Jan 16, 2013

    Æsahættr, Nothung or my favourite, Bronson – after Charles.

  12. teasugarsalt
    Jan 21, 2013

    Oscar Wilde

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