Ten Days Gone By, And How Fruity Am I?

(NOTE: Based on time elapsed since the posting of this entry, the BS-o-meter calculates this is 15.678% likely to be something that Ferrett now regrets.)

Last week, I got the news that my cholesterol levels were off the charts.  And so, in an effort to change my eating habits, I have been choking down a healthy helping of fruit every morning.
Let me reiterate: I fucking hate fruit.
…Or at least I did.  My goal is to get me used to eating fruit so that I no longer perceive it as vile.  Because I have a Very Clever Brain that operates better on unconscious levels.  As long as I really hate fruit, my brain will short-circuit any attempts to disguise fruit.  Is my fruit in a smoothie?  Well, says my brain, it’s far too late in the day for a smoothie!  You’ll be full all evening!  Better have some nachos instead.  And, you may note, my slacker brain told me that it was too much trouble to make a smoothie early in the morning, thus cleverly pushing me off until I had a better excuse.
No, this is like exercise.  People kept telling me, “When you find the right exercise, things will be a joy!”  And it never was, so I kept bombing out of exercise.  The solution that worked for me was to acknowledge that exercise would never be fun, and yet I had to do it anyway.  And that worked.
So after ten days of chowing down berries, how’s this working?
The answer is, “Better.”  I can now eat berries while I am doing other things, like programming.  I do not enjoy them, but at least putting a fruit in my mouth doesn’t cause the full-stop panic usually associated with feeling a cockroach crunch between your teeth.  So I managed a little better.
I also tried oranges, Clementines, which were actually not bad.  The pulp still makes me gag, but when I was sick yesterday I ate four of them.  I also tried pomegranates, which made me gag, but that could be because of the strong taste and the seeds combined.
I am not yet in favor of fruits, but at least for some of my long-time nemeses, I am not as diametrically opposed.  This is greater progress than I anticipated in ten days.  We’ll see how it goes.
As for fish, well, we won’t talk about fish.  I’ve had salmon twice, and it was a meal.  The tuna steak is slightly better, but all this fish is fucking expensive.  God forbid you have heart problems and you’re poor, man.


  1. Scott Van Essen
    Dec 17, 2012

    Good for you, and keep it up. For what it’s worth, I would stay away from “advanced fruit” like pomegranates and persimmons and focus on simple and easy fruits at first. Also, it sounds like you might be better served by crunchy fruits like apples to ease you into fruit textures (though apples may not be nutritionally what you need, they can be a start on good habits).
    Though not actually a fruit, I would recommend Jicama (if you can find it in Ohio). Its texture is like a crisper apple, it’s high in vitamins A, B, and C, and its taste is light and not overly sweet.
    Finally, when you’ve made a little more progress on adapting to the texture, do yourself a favor and order some Harry and David pears. It might seem insane to spend $30 on a dozen mail order pears, but trust me on this, you’ve never tasted a fruit so delicious. (I leave it to you to decide if that would be something good to get right now to help you learn to like fruit, or if it’s better as a reward after you’ve made it over the hump).
    Good luck.

  2. Yet Another Laura H.
    Dec 17, 2012

    Long-time lurker, first-time commenter.
    The secret to eating pomegranates: pinch the seeds between your fingers and pop them (as in “violently or suddenly squish them so they explode”) inside your mouth. Best attempted with a partner to giggle with, the first time.
    Good blog. Very good blog.

  3. Felicia
    Dec 18, 2012

    I find that tilapia fillets are inexpensive, and provide lots of protein, while also being very simple to make (white fish usually is), and low in calories. That may help with the fish issue.
    Unfortunately, I can’t really help with the fruit stuff. Unless you like juice. In which case, juicers are awesome! They’ll separate the pulp and everything, leaving you with lots of nutrients and none of the texture you hate. =]
    I hope that helped!

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