Silly Bits From My Life: The Chris Moose

(NOTE: Based on time elapsed since the posting of this entry, the BS-o-meter calculates this is 15.678% likely to be something that Ferrett now regrets.)

So from 2005 through 2007, we had a lit moose on our front lawn during the Christmas season.  Not a deer, but a moose, to celebrate our Alaskan roots.  (Well, Gini’s Alaskan roots.  I had tendrils.)  And we were very thrilled to have our own Christmas Moose, as it was usually the only holiday lights that we had, but the uniqueness of the moose was also the only way people could find our house in this 1950s cut-n-copy suburb we live in.
(We drive by our own house twice a week.  Seriously.  This neighborhood is a maze of cozy houses, all alike.)
Alas, in the winter of 2007, during a particularly vicious snowstorm, the moose was run over by a plow.  And so our Merry Chris Moose was dead.
But lo!  Our good friend Steve gifted us with a light-up moose three years ago!  Except, sadly, it was a deer.  We can’t pass a deer for a moose, and we have traditions.  (Tradition!)  So the next year, graciously stubborn in the face of our truculence, Steve bought us an actual, honest-to-God light-up moose.
…which we kept in the basement for two years.  Partially this was out of laziness, partially it was because we’ve taken to spending Christmases with my Mom in Vacaville, so we don’t bother to decorate the house.  But the world felt less festive.  And less moosetastic.  So, on Saturday, I spent several hours carefully assembling Steve’s Wicker Moose. Which was a thatch of difficulty for someone as spatially challenged as I, but look!  Moose!
Yet after that, we still had Steve’s light-up deer in the basement, and it seemed silly to have an LED menagerie hanging about unused.  So, last night, I ventured into the basement and assembled the deer. In the kitchen, because it was chilly outside.  And when it was done, the deer looks so majestic on our kitchen counter that I could not move it.  It was like a Patronus, ablaze in light:
And when I went to go troubleshoot some JavaScript libraries in my living room, the deer looked on encouragingly:
I’m currently petitioning Gini to allow me to keep the deer in the house.  Even in the daytime, this deer looks badass.  Gini says she needs the space to, you know, cook and stuff, but I think she just doesn’t appreciate the value of public art.  I mean, just look at it!  This is one kingly fake deer.
Alas, the deer will probably be evicted soon, as Gini has officially denied it an indoor existence.  However, the whole thing was made worthwhile when our daughter Erin sang:

“We wish you a Merry Chris-moose and a Happy New Deer!”

All Comments Will Be Moderated. Comments From Fake Or Throwaway Accounts Will Never Be approved.