I Thank You For Thanking Me

I was raised in a house of healthy confrontation. Have a problem?  Go talk it out.  Which means that arguing and debating and hashing out opinions is, quite literally, what I was raised to do. It’s a skill that probably made me the blogger I am today.
What I can’t do, however, is accept compliments.
People have noted that if you want my attention on-line, it’s easily gotten by striking up a disagreement.  But nice comments leave me dumbstruck.  Tell me you liked a story of mine, and I’ll shuffle my feet and stare at the screen and blush, which evinces itself as complete silence.
And in the wake of all the kind and supportive comments left wishing me well on my mother’s recent cancer scare, I feel inadequate to the love, support, and positive kindness you people have offered me over the years.  I’ve tried to pay it back when I could, mainly because you’ve largely been so kind that it’s impossible to really give back everything I’ve been given… but rest assured.  I do read every comment.  I do feel blessed every time someone says I wrote an essay well, or they wished they’d said that, or even just offers a hand in an hour of need. You folks give a lot of energy here, and I feel sometimes ashamed that I don’t give it back, but I assure you every nice word ever said gets cuddled and put into a handy sack that sometimes gets me through blue times better than you know.
So let me thank you.  For being kind.  And generous.  And surprisingly insightful as commentors, and willing to call me on my bullshit when I have it, and just much kinder to me than sometimes I can bear.
Thanks for lending your voice.  Thanks for being beautiful.  Thanks for being there.