The Ease Of Polyamory

(NOTE: Based on time elapsed since the posting of this entry, the BS-o-meter calculates this is 16.884% likely to be something that Ferrett now regrets.)

Last week, Gini and I gave a talk to a classroom on polyamory.  And there, as here, people wondered how we made polyamory work.
And though every poly is different, for us there’s one trick that makes it easy for us to date other people: We want to spend all of our time with each other.
It’s pathetic, really.  We work at home, a situation that’s driven some couples insane, and yet Gini can’t work in her back office for more than a couple of hours before getting lonely for me and joining me on the couch.  After a week spent at home working side-by-side and watching Deep Space Nine, I needed a date day with Gini where we could window-show at the mall and hold hands and make snarky comments about the awful overpriced items we somehow still desire.
And then we snuggle in the bed and talk some more.
I dunno.  Maybe other polyamorous primaries have issues because getting time with their spouses involves fighting off Skyrim and the need for isolation and the hobbies they want to get done and the guys’ night out.  But with us, our need for each other is as clear as our need for water, and if there’s any chance we can be together, we will.
So when Gini wanders off for a weekend with S, or I go off with a weekend with J, I don’t think we get too many of the “Do they really want me?” willies.  Because I know when Gini returns, she’s going to get out of that car smiling and she’s going to fling her arms around me and then we’re going to go inside and cuddle the heck out of each other.
In my darker dumber hours, I doubt she loves me.  I never doubt she likes me.
That makes it easy.

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