As You Wish, Crom

(NOTE: Based on time elapsed since the posting of this entry, the BS-o-meter calculates this is 9.648% likely to be something that Ferrett now regrets.)

SCENE: I’m showing the original Conan the Barbarian to Gini for the first time.  Conan, about to face the fight of his life, puts his back to a rock and says:
CONAN: Crom, I have never prayed to you before. I have no tongue for it. No one, not even you, will remember if we were good men or bad. Why we fought, or why we died. All that matters is that two stood against many. That’s what’s important! Valor pleases you, Crom… so grant me one request. Grant me revenge! And if you do not listen – then to hell with you!
The soldiers charge in.  I pause the movie. 
ME: He doesn’t get killed by the soldiers at this time.
GINI: What?
ME: The soldiers don’t get him. I’m explaining to you because you look nervous.
GINI: What?  I’m not nervous. This is a terrible goddamn film.
ME: As you wish.
I unpause the film.  Fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, monsters, chases, escapes, true love, and miracles ensue.

2 Comments

  1. Evan
    Sep 1, 2011

    I’m definitely stealing this joke, it’s hilarious. XD

  2. JFargo
    Sep 1, 2011

    I am laughing very hard right now. You are a horrible and funny man.
    I say “horrible” in a loving way, understand.

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