“Who Would Win In A Fight?”: Dammit, YOU’RE DOING IT WRONG

The most domesticated of pet peeves:

On Twitter, a friend asked, “Who would win in a fight? Fringe, or Torchwood?”  And I immediately gave the wrong answer.

I snap-judged “Fringe” as the winner, but on reflection that’s because I’ve seen four and a half seasons of Fringe, and only a handful of Torchwood episodes.  I was picking a winner on who I liked best.  And I fucking hate it when that happens, because I really don’t know that much about Torchwood and maybe hell, they would kick the shit out of Fringe.

The proper answer is to recuse yourself. To say, “Mu.”  To honestly acknowledge that you’re not educated enough to say.  Because I fucking hate it when people have an online poll of “Who would win in a lambada contest, Doctor Who or [less well-known character]?” and of course Doctor Who wins in a goddamned landslide because nobody knows who this other schmuck is.

But we weren’t asking, “Who do you like better?”  We’re asking “Who is more qualified?”  And if you’re not intimately familiar with the mad dance moves of [less well-known character], then you shouldn’t even click on the goddamned poll.  You’re the reasons this world is a fucking cesspool.  Every time some asshole gets promoted at work because the bosses know him better, or some underqualified person gets hired because the interviewer knew their mother, or some criminal goes scot-free because the cops know him and aw, shucks, he’s not that bad, it’s all because you said Doctor Who could lambada.

Stop choosing based on like.  Make it about qualifications, dammit, or some day we’ll have to have a big fucking dance-off to save the planet and you’ll find out that despite the fact that he had an episode devoted to it, the Doctor really can’t dance.

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