Thoughts on Paxil Ferrett Ranking:
I couldn't play the grownup long enough to draw a distinction between "That's acceptable, if worrisome, behavior" and "That is right out." I needed something to calm down and establish authority. Some kind of tool...And Paxil was it. But it wasn't the only tool, and I would have destroyed myself if I'd let it stop at that.
The Ferrett On Marriage Ferrett Ranking:
Why The Ferrett got married. Why he's happy being married. Everything The Ferrett knows on the nature of love.
The Reevaluation Ferrett Ranking:
Sometimes it's a sad lament, as she discusses how things used to be good, but now he's so different and she doesn't know what happened to them. Sometimes it's just pure anger mainlined straight from the heart, an acidic stream of vitriol as she catalogues this guy's many flaws, most of which concern his sexual inadequacy. Her complaints all have one thing in common, though: If you were a stranger eavesdropping on the conversation, you'd swear that they were talking about an ex-boyfriend. They're so distressed and angry about this guy that you would not think that they were still together.
Holy Shit - I'm Dying! Ferrett Ranking:
I am such a monstrously egotistic moron that the fact I won?t get to tell anyone what it?s like is far more distressing than death itself. This should tell you something about me.
The Day the Cartoons Vanished Ferrett Ranking:
The day I had to kill my son.
Cigarette Burns on my Heart Ferrett Ranking:
It's been fourteen years and the wound still seeps occasionally, like a cigarette burn on my heart. I still miss her. Occasionally, I type her name into search engines, the only name I can type as quickly as my own.
How To Cheat On Your Girlfriend Ferrett Ranking:
The first stage is realizing; understanding gradually that someone is seeking us. We've blinded ourself to a certain extent; if we guys were going to be dead honest about other people's motivations all the way through, we wouldn't have any fun. So we'll take the backrubs and the smiles.
The Ferrett Gets His Testicles Trimmed Ferrett Ranking:
Wherein The Ferrett determines that he really shouldn't have kids or start up his own "Vasectomies 'R' Us" clinic. Not nearly as many graphic details as you might be led to believe.
Old-Age Blues And Trixter Ferrett Ranking:
I became terrified that I had waited too long, that it was now too late for me to start anything. My Big Chance had passed me by.
But wait! This isn't all The Ferrett has to offer....
Want to see what's new in the world of The Ferrett? Why not check out his LiveJournal, updated sporadically?
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| Welcome to one of my five archives! You're currently looking at my $Category, which is but one of the five sections I have divided my rantings into: Or you can simply choose to look at everything I have! Pages and pages worth of notable strangess! Enjoy! | |
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| Written New Serious Stuff | |
| What Is Amazon Doing? So I hopped on Amazon.com to see when the first season of Futurama would be out, and I got this recommendation: Customers who bought this DVD also bought: Fair enough. But the next suggestion floored me: Customers who wear clothes also shop for: Okay, I know one of the appeals of Amazon is that you can shop naked. But are they seriously attempting to tell us that a significant portion of their demographics never wear clothes? Is there some sort of nudist resurgence that's dominating Amazon's sales? |
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How To Cheat On Your Girlfriend The first stage is realizing; understanding gradually that someone is seeking us. We've blinded ourself to a certain extent; if we guys were going to be dead honest about other people's motivations all the way through, we wouldn't have any fun. So we'll take the backrubs and the smiles. | |
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Holy Shit - I'm Dying! I am such a monstrously egotistic moron that the fact I won?t get to tell anyone what it?s like is far more distressing than death itself. This should tell you something about me. | |
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Thoughts on Paxil I couldn't play the grownup long enough to draw a distinction between "That's acceptable, if worrisome, behavior" and "That is right out." I needed something to calm down and establish authority. Some kind of tool...And Paxil was it. But it wasn't the only tool, and I would have destroyed myself if I'd let it stop at that. | |