Placing My First Swingers Ad Ferrett Ranking:
On a whim, I placed an ad on a swingers' site - well, I had to. They wouldn't let me look at dirty pictures otherwise. But the results I got from wifeswappers everywhere were amazing....
The Night I Hired A Hooker Ferrett Ranking:
Proving that there is nothing simple that The Ferrett cannot fuck up, witness the day that The Ferrett tries to get a massage from an Oriental masseuse... And discovers she really likes his hair. What the fuck?
Why I Can't Rape My Wife Ferrett Ranking:
In my LiveJournals, I have written deep and meaningful paeans to my wife. So why not give you an in-depth analysis of why I can't pee on my wife?
How To Hire A Hooker (Or Prostitute, Or Masseuse, Whatever) Ferrett Ranking:
Handy hints on dealing with old friends who want you to buy a hooker for them. How incompetent do you have to be to not get laid from a hooker? Read on and be surprised!
Dances With The Penis Ferrett Ranking:
I'm sure Softkiss has a face, but in my mind's eye she is nothing but a pair of sagging breasts. I've chatted with Thickandsexy's surprisingly witty vagina any number of times, and TJRawks is as engaging as a speaking penis gets. Faces are rare in swinger chat rooms.
Seven Centimeters Of Odor Ferrett Ranking:
An in-depth (uh huh huh, Beavis) discussion on the gentler parts of the female anatomy. Definitely worth reading if you're a chyk or a guy who just doesn't get much.
The Ferrett's Tips For Better Living Ferrett Ranking:
In other words, The Ferrett tells you how to fuck, and fuck well. Not necessarily deep thoughts, but ideal for those with the effort to cut'n'paste into one of those annoying sendaround emails.
In Search Of The Cheap Pickup Ferrett Ranking:
Hunter Thompson I ain't, folks. He would have gotten a babe. Me, I got drunk and went home lonely. And yet you can laugh about it through the transubstantiation of humiliation into anecdotes!
Blatant Homosexuality Ferrett Ranking:
Believe it or not, lesbians don't wear signs that say, "I LICK PUSSY AND EAT HOT DOGS WITH MALICE". Well, not the ones I hang out with, anyway.
Fucking = Boring Ferrett Ranking:
Frankly, this article isn't that funny, but it details two truly funny things that, since I wrote about them once, I'll probably never write about again: My Godawful mishap with contraceptive foam, and the measure of a man.
But wait! This isn't all The Ferrett has to offer....
Want to see what's new in the world of The Ferrett? Why not check out his LiveJournal, updated sporadically?
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| Welcome to one of my five archives! You're currently looking at my $Category, which is but one of the five sections I have divided my rantings into: Or you can simply choose to look at everything I have! Pages and pages worth of notable strangess! Enjoy! | |
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| Written New Fucking | |
| What Is Amazon Doing? So I hopped on Amazon.com to see when the first season of Futurama would be out, and I got this recommendation: Customers who bought this DVD also bought: Fair enough. But the next suggestion floored me: Customers who wear clothes also shop for: Okay, I know one of the appeals of Amazon is that you can shop naked. But are they seriously attempting to tell us that a significant portion of their demographics never wear clothes? Is there some sort of nudist resurgence that's dominating Amazon's sales? |
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Why I Can't Rape My Wife In my LiveJournals, I have written deep and meaningful paeans to my wife. So why not give you an in-depth analysis of why I can't pee on my wife? | |
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How To Hire A Hooker (Or Prostitute, Or Masseuse, Whatever) Handy hints on dealing with old friends who want you to buy a hooker for them. How incompetent do you have to be to not get laid from a hooker? Read on and be surprised! | |
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Placing My First Swingers Ad On a whim, I placed an ad on a swingers' site - well, I had to. They wouldn't let me look at dirty pictures otherwise. But the results I got from wifeswappers everywhere were amazing.... | |